Image from 2 Shots of Geek
It may be cliche for a video game website to post a list like this for Valentine’s Day, but it’s simply too fun to pass up. Video games are often seen as simply overcoming obstacles to collect points, but like all forms of entertainment involving characters, some form of plot is a requisite for success. And what better plot than love? No wonder so many games have been centered around defending the one you love. Here’s Gamers Trust’s take on the Top 10 Pixelated Couples in Video Game History.
Number 10: Nathan Drake & Elena Fisher (Uncharted)
I’m sure a bunch of folks are going to be upset that this couple isn’t higher on the list. To be perfectly honest, I questioned putting them on at all for the simple fact that they aren’t one of those couple who has really stood the test of time simply because the game is a newer franchise (relatively speaking of course).
Number 9: Gordon Freeman & Alyx Vance (Half-Life 2)
Freeman and Vance push ahead of Drake and Fischer for one simple reason: the bizarre factor. The same folks that were upset about my choice for number 10 are no doubt fuming at Freeman & Vance coming in at number 9 because there isn’t a true love story between the two characters At least not as outwardly as Drake and Fischer. There are many points during the game that it is hinted that the two have some chemistry going, but it’s not a central theme. The bizarre factor is that Gordon Freeman met Alyx Vance when she was a child…oh, and he was 27. Now before you go all “ewwww” on me, keep in mind that Freeman was then put into stasis for 20 years which then eliminated that age difference. Weird all the same.
Number 8: Sonic the Hedgehog & Amy Rose
Who? Isn’t Tails Sonic’s flame? I certainly thought so. But then I went back and replayed Sonic the Hedgehog 2 for the sake of this article,
“Huh…Tail’s first name is Miles. Strange name for a girl. Maybe it’s short for Miley? I wonder if Tail’s went into a downward spiral like another child-star named Miley? Hmm, what’s that Internet? Tails is a guy? I never realized Sonic wa- oh, you mean there’s this Amy Rose girl? Ok. Thanks Internet.”
Amy Rose was first introduced in Sonic CD, since that Sonic can only release little animals from the clutches for Dr. Eggman so many times, a love interest was introduced. Besides, if Sonic is going to keep collecting those Chaos Emeralds every game, it only seems fitting that he have a honey to hang them on. The speedster doesn’t strike me as the bling type.
Number 7: Pac-Man & Mrs (Ms). Pac-Man
Our number 7 couple are two of the most recognizable characters for people of all ages. And I’m not saying that because they’ve been around for so long. It’s just, how much brain juice do you need to remember a yellow circle with a wedge for a mouth? Pac-Man was the OG, and one year later Ms. Pac-Man was introduced. The title, Ms. Pac-Man implies that she is single, and shares a last name with her male counter part. But anyone who watched the Pac-Man TV show on CBS in the early 80’s certainly remembers her as being Pac-Man’s wife named Pepper. Of course, it could be that the character in the video game was Pac-Man’s sister, and Pepper was another horrifying spherical creature that married Pac-Man and took on the family name. Or maybe Ms. Pac-Man was married to Pac-Man when she was first introduced, but used Ms. instead of Mrs. to keep in tow with the Women’d Lib. movement of the time. Or maybe they were from the Appalachians and were both. Or maybe I really need to stop over analyzing this.
Number 6: Jaina Proudmoore & Arthas Menethil (Warcraft)
You may be asking, why not Jaina & Thrall? Well first off, Thrall’s already got baby mama now, and while other couples on the list are one’s that you can sit back and go “awwwww,” Jaina Proudmoore and Arthas Menethil’s story is one of tragedy. The two were originally brought together as all time-honored medieval-ish couples are: Royal Heritage. However as the two grew up together, a mutual love started to blossom which lead to them becoming engaged to be wed. But then ol’ Kel’Thuzad had to come in and ruin the whole thing by egging Arthas on to killing thousands by spreading a plague bringing on an undead army. If I only had a nickle for every time I’ve had that happen to me…
Number 5: Master Chief & Cortana (Halo)
It wasn’t until Halo 4 that we truly saw this come to be (don’t worry, I won’t get into any spoilers), but i think it was one of those things that was always in the back of our helmets while playing as Master Chief. When they first met in Halo the two were mutual partners. Talking, joking, and stopping am alien menace. As the franchise goes on, the two of them endure so many more hardships that it is only natural for a relationship to develop between a big strong marine like him and a lithe little hologram like her. I love sci-fi.
Number 4: Cloud & Aerith (Final Fantasy VII)
If ever there was a game that got more girls and women involved in what is primarily considered a guy’s world, it was Final Fantasy VII. The game is one of action, and venture, and romance. I like to think it’s what would happen if SyFy and Lifetime teamed up to make a movie with a young Meredith Baxter Birney as Aerith. The love triangle of the story driven RPG is, to this day, one of contention. Was it Cloud and Aerith? Cloud and Tifa? Team Jacob? Well the upside is that it’s Japanese-based, and like all things of an anime nature, there’s folks that have invested an unhealthy amount of time into the debate.
Number 3: Mario & Princess Peach (Mario Franchise)
The typical number one choice for most lists like this, Mario & Peach come in at number 3 here. Since 1985, the famed plumber has jumped over thousands of hurdles (literally) to save his beloved princess. Occasionally the two have used their bond to overcome adversity together. Not only do they have adventures, but they host parties, go go-kart racing, play tennis, and even engage in domestic violence. So why would a couple that shares so much and has survived through this many ordeals not be ranked number 1? Well as I mentioned, you’d see it coming. And two, I’m not sure they have the most healthy relationship to begin with. Sure, when Bowser first kidnapped Peach in Super Mario Bros. it’s seen as an, “OMG! The Princess is in danger!” But by the time Super Mario 64 came around don’t you think some folks were like, “Really? Again? That girl needs to get a clue.” Personally, I think our fair princess may suffer from Histrionic Personality Disorder and gets herself caught on purpose.
Number 2: Link & Princess Zelda (Legend of Zelda Franchise)
Our runner-up couple shares many of the same qualities as Mario and Peach. Namely because they’re another Nintendo franchise that is put into many other games like Smash Brothers. The reason the this Hyrulian Power Couple hit number two though is because where Princess Peach more often than not plays the archetypal damsel in distress, Zelda takes on the role of a strong willed heroine determined to save her kingdom. Ever since Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, Princess Zelda has played a crucial role in helping link defend the Kingdom of Hyrule from the evil Ganon. Whether through organizing strategy from a sanctuary or getting her hands dirty in combat, Zelda has shown that she has what it takes to be on equal footing with her main squeeze.
Number 1: Donkey Kong and Pauline (Donkey Kong)
This is probably another one of those, “who?” moments. Everyone recognizes the Goliath of a Gorilla, Donkey Kong, but who the heck is Pauline? Your fun trivia fact for the day: the kidnapped woman in Donkey Kong is not an early version of Princess Peach like most people think. She’s in fact named Pauline (originally just named Lady). While she may bear a resemblance to the heir to the Mushroom Kingdom, she’s her own character with her own hero, Jumpman. Jumpman and Pauline were the basis for Mario and Peach in later years.
So why not Jumpman and Pauline as number 1? Anyone can bound off to rescue a person in need. While Pauline may kiss Jumpman when he rescues her, there’s really no indication that Jumpman is doing it for love. Who knows, he might just be doing it because Pauline’s dad is a rich oil tycoon (where do you think all those barrels Donkey Kong throws come from?) who is offering an obscene reward to rescue is daughter. But Donkey Kong? He loves Pauline more than life itself. We can draw this conclusion because Donkey Kong is very much based on the film King Kong where the giant ape kidnaps a woman because of his love for her. Is it a healthy relationship? Not one bit. But kids in elementary school often show their interest in a “boyfriend”/”girlfriend” by doing strange things like hitting them with a snowball or carrying them to the top of a rickety scaffold. Donkey Kong takes Pauline and defends her in every way he possibly can. In the end, he realizes that Jumpman is about to get him, yet he courageously defends his would-be bride until his life is ultimately taken by Jumpman. Donkey Kong is a tragic story of a love that could have been, and a greedy rescuer in the market for his own off-shore drilling company. An emotional love story that is often overlooked. Poor Donkey Kong.
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